Finding Our True Nature as Parents

The dance between men and women, mothers and fathers - parents - has become complex, with moves and steps that many of us have difficulty doing, that are unclear and vague.

We were taught from our very own conception of how to be – with ourselves and with each other. That the father has a specific role – and the mother has her specific role. And I do not disagree with this. However, I want to explore the possibility that the roles that were implied may be now obsolete.

I live in the jungle. I watch birds and animals every day. I am immersed in nature all the time – and it’s changed how I see life. I actually see life as much more harsh than I ever did before. Trying to free a baby hummingbird from the jaws of a snake while the birds’ mother screamed as loud as a hummingbird can scream – resulted in the snake dropping the baby, but with the 2 meter drop, it fell to its death on the rocky ground below. The baby was lost, and now the snake (a youngster itself), would go without its lunch. “Well, I fucked that up” I told myself after. And I think I even cried.

Life is intense – it’s amazing and beautiful – full of heartache and bliss and destruction and love. And I ask myself, “what is the best we can do for our babies?”

I remember a line from the movie “The Manchurian Candidate” (the newer one) where Denzell Washington is trying with everything he has to figure out what is happening to him and the other character in the movie who has also been brainwashed. With all the passion and desperation, and as close as he can get to the other guy's face, with sweat and tears dripping off of his, he says…”there’s something way down deep inside of us that they can’t get to…find that”.

I’d like to propose today that we all begin really looking deep for those places inside us – to find our true nature. Within that true nature, we may be able to begin to put things together – of how we should be, of what’s important – who we really are.

We may not do some things for ourselves – but we will for our kids. They deserve to know who they are and they will learn that by watching us. It’s a huge responsibility – but truly, we have no other choice anymore.

We have no working models – that I’m aware of – during this time in history. Nothing that truly applies to life as we know it right now. But I’m sure that we have the knowledge inside us somewhere – we just need to find it. Be committed to finding it. Acting on it.

I do know that kids learn by example – and we have to use this as a measuring guide. What do we want for them? And then do those things for ourselves. When our kids see us live our lives with purpose and happiness, it gives them a model. When they see us selling out – worst of all – because of THEM – because we need to “provide” for them, or whatever – they learn that too.

For me, I want my kids to be free spirited. To embrace and celebrate their true soul being. To understand that life is full of obstacles and beauty – and that the obstacles are part of the beauty. And that they are strong enough to deal with whatever obstacle may come their way, while staying in a place of appreciation for the beauty of it. I can only teach this to them by doing it myself.