Mother. What does that really mean?

Mother. 

What images do you think of when you read that word? 

Most of us think of a woman maybe in the kitchen cooking dinner, keeping the house in perfect order for the family. She serves others. She is selfless. She gives everything not only for her children but for everyone. She doesn’t expect anything in return because that’s what a mother does. Her identity is woven into this idea of her place in the family. She is soft. She is warm. She provides comfort. Her needs come last and everyone else’s come first. Ironically, she is also virginal - a good mother is anyway. 

And yet when we really think about it – at the beginning of a woman becoming a mother, the conception and survival of her baby is 100 percent dependent on her wellbeing. She cannot grow and birth her child if she is not first healthy enough to do it. She must care for herself. The life and survival of her unborn child is dependent upon it.

During the birth and afterwards as well, the mother must be healthy, to have taken care of herself to be healthy enough to birth her baby, and then to nourish her baby. It simply is the way of life. There’s no arguing this fact. And yet, we’ve all been given an idea that we’ve accepted as real – that the true sense of a good mother is one who sacrifices herself. In reality, this simply does not work as it is not sustainable.

I love the concept of biomimicry - when we can easily see “truths” about life by observing nature. And what I’m talking about right now is a perfect time to do this – that the very physical fact and truth of motherhood is that the baby’s survival is dependent upon the mother being healthy and looking out for herself BEFORE anyone else. Just like a mother jaguar will go out shortly after giving birth to hunt for food. When we really think about it, it all makes sense.

So WHY are things the way they are then? 

Right now we have all been conceived and born into a dominant system that relegates the mother as a receptacle/dispenser/deliverer of the next new commodity. In order for the control to be complete, the removal of the mother connection is imperative.

Traumatize women during birth, an event that is naturally inherently powerful - and violate their newborns. And what we’re left with is what we now have - a collapsing social system of addicts and emotionally broken people who are a perfect fit for a system that depends on our life force.

We are not headed for a science fiction-esque dystopian future as some have proposed…. We are living it right now. And have been for some time. The inherent power that mothers possess has been systematically removed from us – and since this power seems to be a literal and finite source – it has subsequently been harvested to fuel a system that does not have our best interests in mind.

I believe our hope lies in looking to biomimicry, the truth of nature. To see the mother in her true form. In understanding and integrating the fact that she is the first place of our being. The Creator. The giver of life. Life depends on her and the future depends on her. 

Establishing a pure mother child connection is what I believe will heal all life.

And this shift into honoring the Mother needs to begin with us – the mothers. When we honor ourselves and each other, we set the example and the trajectory.

Being pregnant, you know that you will soon be having a baby. But in reality – you are the mother already. Right now. Growing life. The primal, essential parts of your baby are being formed right now. And as the mother, I hope you know that you are a divine creator. Without you, this person would not be. Your life sustains their life. Your breath gives them oxygen. Your food becomes their food. Your emotions are their emotions. They feel what you feel, hear what you hear – believe what you believe. You are shaping who they are with your thoughts, with your feelings, with your environment. You are their world. You are all they know. Very soon, that will change some, but for quite a while after the birth, you are still their world. Their beliefs about who they are, the value they hold in the world, the sense of belonging, of love, of trust and of safety are all subject to you. 

A great responsibility – but I believe that we as mothers are ready to take it on.

May love and power be with you as you do.

*** I want to tell you about the photo that I used for this post. It’s of my grandmother holding my dad. He looks to be about 10 months old, which would make it early spring of 1939. My family were farmers, living in the simple hand-built house where the photo was taken. My grandmother gave birth to my dad in that very house. Yes – my dads was a homebirth! Something he was always so proud of